is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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