YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
