I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
