you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
