We should be called the Road Head Warriors
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
