CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
