What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
