and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
