Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
