i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Randomize
