How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
