This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Dick very happy bro
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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