Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
