She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Randomize
