Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
