All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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