i think my mom watched the whole time
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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