The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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