I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
