Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
