I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
i am craving dick and cupcakes
There's even glitter on my cock...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
