Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Panties = found
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