i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
