Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
