ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
