so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
