If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize