everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I want a musical about memes.
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