As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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