He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
