Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
