I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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