she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I need water and some morals
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
