it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
