I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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