no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
