i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We left an ass print on the piano.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It's shark week go big or go home
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
