12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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