Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
