he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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