hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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