a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
