have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
