OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
