yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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