I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I did not marry a roomba.
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