It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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