the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
