defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
