i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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