How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
